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Sex with latin women

Latin Americans are usually seen as open and uninhibited when it comes to sex. Naturally this is just that: an image. Nothing could be further from the truth. Evidence of this disparity lies in the types of questions we regularly get on our site, Hablemos de Sexo y Amor : "My penis is 13 centimeters in length, how can I make it longer? As superficial as these questions may seem, the answers we offer are always carefully considered and provided in the simplest, clearest way possible. However, it's questions like these that make me wonder how we ever got to the version of Latin Americans which exists in the popular imagination, as people widely knowledgable about sex and open about their sexuality. We see them in the media, but not always in practice. And when I look at the number of teenage pregnancies in Venezuela or Nicaragua, the rate of violence against women in Mexico or Guatemala, and the discrimination against gay people in the Caribbean, I become increasingly concerned. There are historical, socioeconomic and cultural reasons that explain them -- but on the other hand, I believe as a journalist that we in the media, can do more to shift this reality. The Spanish language Latin American version of the site began as a support for the numerous initiatives by sexual and reproductive health organizations seeking to inform and educate different communities.
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Mispronounce her name. I don't care if her name is super-hard to pronounce, like Xochitl. If you can't get her name right, you can't get her number. You should take the time to learn it, and not just guess how it's pronounced. Call us "mami. Neglect her family. When you date a Latina, you date her entire family. So get ready to learn everyone's birthdays, anniversaries, and ovulation schedules. Si no , they'll vote you out of the picture. Refuse to learn Spanish or Portuguese.

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Your go-to Latin America blog! Travel, adventure, business, dating and danger in Mexico, Central and South America. You don't have to be in Latin America long to realize that there's a cheating bonanza going on. Don't believe me? Ask the New York Times. In a not-so-recent article, the newspaper reported that Latin American men are the second-most adulterous on the planet after sub-Saharan Africans. But why, you ask. Why do Latinos cheat more than, say, Caucasians? Latinos have a culture that's grounded quite solidly in "machismo. This includes doing things like fighting there's a reason why boxing is so popular in Latin countries , cursing, drinking to excess and, of course, seducing beautiful women.

The Guardian 's feminist columnist Jessica Valenti has to be admired for her chutzpah, even if sometimes her execution is a bit messy. In a recent column , for instance, she tackled a topic that has already gotten me into trouble as a writer currently trying to straddle the two Americas though my Colombian boyfriend gets mad at me for thinking there's more than one : cross-cultural sexuality.

She proceeds to recount how a French commentator "seems genuinely baffled by the curious coupling of American prudishness and male-centric sex Now, any of you who've ever lived outside your home culture will know both how irresistible and how dangerous such cross-cultural comparisons can be.

When, for instance, in a recent column about Shakira I alluded to how living in Colombia has offered me an earth-shattering new view of sexuality, my readers were outraged at what they called my "racial fetishizing. Those readers certainly had a point. Let me make something clear: I am not Latina, just a Midwestern kid who happened to learn Spanish young, became best friends with a Mexican, studied Latin American politics, and then moved to Colombia to discover the culture I'd spent a decade reading about.

I have been in, but not of, Latino culture for many years now. But cultural fascination and good intentions don't get you off the hook for not understanding your own privilege. I have in the past written about Colombian women for American readers in a way that I believed at the time to be sensitive and progressive, and then, reading my own work translated into Spanish , realized that I sounded like an imperialist gringa cow. That's why I say these comparisons are dangerous -- we tend to fall back on existing generalizations i.

We have to stop being scared to talk to each other frankly about how our cultures do sex differently and why. And if we're not prepared to get our feelings hurt or our intentions misunderstood in the process, I fear we'll miss out on each other's insights. What's it like, for instance, to " fornicate while Latina ," as the fantastic writer Erika L.

How does living in an overwhelmingly Catholic family or society shape attitudes about guilt, shame, sex, desire, contraception, porn, motherhood, career? How does living poor affect these same issues? How do these attitudes crystallize into institutions that protect or break down patriarchy?

What ways have Latina women developed resistance to these pressures? Let me offer my two cents probably not worth much more than that : In my experience of living in Latino communities and dating Latin s for years now, I've seen sexuality as simultaneously more vilified and more ubiquitous in everyday life.

Latin Americans don't just recognize the power of erotic capital but develop and deploy it with gusto. When I asked my Colombian friend V whether she thought it was anti-feminist for women to use their erotic capital, she simply shot me a withering, why-are-you-so-goddamn-vanilla glare.

Furthermore, while Latin American beauty culture can feel overwhelming, some women -- my old idol Shakira among them -- argue that feeling sexy can be empowering, subversive, or even a welcome source of social mobility. Latina women, living inside a culture notorious for its machismo, have developed ferocious strategies for resisting, coopting, and subverting the patriarchy that structures their lives.

And in many ways I see them as stronger, more powerful, than women who enjoy greater gender equality in other parts of the world. But that's just my thinking on the matter. I'm sure I still sound like an imperialist cow or perhaps a racial fetishist. So tell me so. I really do want to know. If we approach such conversations in the spirit of mutual exchange to grow our global movement, our one-dimensional cultural stereotypes will eventually give way to a more nuanced understanding that allows us to expand our collective female wisdom.

But that process can't happen unless we start the conversation and are prepared to look like blundering idiots for a little bit. US Edition U. News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Newsletters Coupons. Terms Privacy Policy. Part of HuffPost Latino Voices. All rights reserved. Huffington Post. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.

But, still, kudos to Valenti for daring to start the conversation. And for that reason, I welcome Jessica Valenti with me into the cross-cultural clown car. Calling all HuffPost superfans! Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. Join HuffPost. Today is National Voter Registration Day!



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